|Throwing in the towel.
||[Apr. 27th, 2005|10:10 pm]
Eh. I don't know, the moment I try to go and get social, like right when I get to the point where I want to reach out to old friends and make new ones it seems it all just goes down the tubes. I wish there was a way to retain all of one's friends from various backgrounds and/or scenes but that is impossible, pipe dreams. One will give the other creeps, another will slide down hill faster than an avalanche, and people judge me for the company I keep. I am sick of people trying to compare how they should react to me based on the actions of people I have hung out with just because it breaks up the monotony of spending every waking minute all by my lonesome.|
It seems there is a backlash happening against me, real or imagined-- fuck it. I've had it with people for now. Just work and art for me. I don't know why I try to help people out, I mean they don't ask for it-- I just assume they could use it. No more. I quit. Plus in person I'm really mundane, as I don't have the energy for all the sarcasm and bullsit that is mandatory in oder to sustain friendships in this city. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome will do that to a body.
I'm through with online communities and this LJ thing as well. I'll leave it up for archival sakes-- who knows maybe I'll return to it sometime.